Justin,
Hi!!! My name is Mary and I'm so happy you've found this site! It is a miracle worker. First off, your story is NOT pathetic...its the norm on here...lol....sad but true. we have ALL been in your shoes...me, well I am STILL in your shoes every now and again
And Jodie is right, when we say we know what your talking about/feeling/dealing with...we TRULY know.
One thing I am learning to deal with is believing the doctors. Much like you, many of us here have gotten second, third, or ever fourth opinions. I myself, have gone to 3 different cardiologists CONVINCED the first 2 were idiots and didn't realize that I am having something crazy going on with my body. I was convinced that they saw me as a young patient, thus, I MUST be fine (im 26). But once the third said the same as the first two, and was very understanding to my concerns, I realized I have to stop the MADNESS!! lol. I refused to become that person who wastes precious time and money on seeing a million different people hoping they'd find something more serious. simply stated, there is nothing more serious wrong with me. I have to believe that or I will go NUTS!! I've had all the procedures you've had, and also refuse medication. I feel like I should mentally be able to conquer these (Im a psych major) and not let the anxiety get the best of me. but guess what...even with my background on even couseling, psychological disorders, exp. anxiety and panic disorders, I am lost in it all lol.
I had suffered from full blown panic attacks, thinking I was going to die any second. I was scared of driving in case I would drop dead, scared of going to the gym...being in restaurants even (bc I felt like if something happened everyone would be watching me and I'd feel so stupid--hahah so silly to think about that in a time of an emergency if it were going to happen lol). I let this 100% take over my life. this caused me to stop doing every thing I loved, and really effected my relationship with my bf bc we stopped having fun, and im pretty sure he wanted to scream every time I mentioned thinking i was doomed to die at 25/26...because it became a daily conversation. im happy to say things are going better with him and i...but thats bc about 2 months ago, I HAD to put a stop to my thoughts and fears comsuming me...it was affecting all the things I loved..including my bf!
how did I start working towards this is probably what your wondering right now...well..first step: 1) made an appointment to see a couselor. yep..I was a bit disappointed that I couldnt find a way to help myself, but enough is enough..time to talk to someone. I discussed my medical problems..told her i wasnt convinced the doctors were 100% right...that they missed something, etc. BUT IVE HAD ALL THE TESTS CONFIRMING THAT I WAS FINE!! then I started to realize that perhaps now I need to find a way to contol my anxiety. And as I worked my way thru each session, and learned some techniques to deal with my contant thoughts of death etc, I realized that my anxiety was lessening...and as that happened, I noticed my
PVCs and
PACs lessen in number.
it may be helpful to seek a couselor...its a great 'mental dump' as my friend described it as....allows you to lay out all your concerns, worries, etc...sound as silly as we probably sound...to a stranger
I like doing that as opposed to making everyone around me crazy lol...
this is my way of dealing with
PVCs and
PACs without meds...thru couseling
and so far its gotten so much better
im still not where I want to be, but with more time I know I will get there. with you, these just started in Oct...its only been 4 months for you. I've been dealing with these since Feb 09...almost 12 months..and I am just now feeling a lot better. I have good AND bad days though...these things come in waves. You are so new to these that its normal to have your concerns and worries. You will get better in time...I PROMISE. If I can..you can. Seriously, I was a fricking lunatic for the first 9 months lol...I can laugh at myself now, but man....I thought I was going to drop dead every two seconds.
though like I said, even now I have bad waves. I am acutally having a bad wave now (lasted almost a month now)...noticed it a lot more with exercising again...but instead of freaking out every day, I just said you know what, ill make an appt with my cardio. and just tt him. I know that all my questions wont be answered sufficiently on why they got worse all of a sudden, and I wont just believe everyone who says 'your fine' so I just made an appt. my 35 copay for the visit will be worth it to tt him. He's an electrophysiologist (electrophysiologist or something) and they specialize in arrythmias!! so im excited to get more advice and just know that its normal for these to be good..then bad..then good, etc.
this works for me. I am debating maybe each year going for peace of mind. you have to do what will keep you sane...BUT you can't go overboard...I think in your situation you would benefit in a couselor....you've already had all the tests...your fine!! I know you dont wanna hear that..but i didn't either..no one here did im sure. but there comes a point that you have to accept the tests (even duplicate tests in my case lol) are all right...and now its a mental things getting past the anxiety.
wowza..this was a long post lol..sorry for ranting!! please let us know if you have questions or wanna talk...we are all hear for you!