[Cheers]

My mom is very frustrated with me. She thinks I am obsessing (duh) and has NO understanding of anxiety/panic and certainly not heart troubles.

She thinks I should be totally satisfied with what the Dr said and need to get over this now. Like NOW. She almost seems angry.

I do realize how annoying and frustrating I probably am. But I am wondering, how can I make my family understand?

[shellylabelle]

I am in the same postition as you are. I am obsessing also and getting very little empathy from my husband. They too think that I should listen to the doctor. I want a second opinion. If you get another opinion, what do you expect to hear? My husband thinks that I want a miracle cure in a pill. It is so frustrating. What has helped me is going to therapy. I feel your pain.

[jkfrench]

You can't just get over it NOW. The skips are still there and very real. It takes time to accept them and then they will start to dinimish. Try to explain that to her. Tell her that you understand that your heart is okay but remind her of what the doctor said. The symptoms are real. You have arrythymias. We all do.
Seeing him was just the first step in the long road to accepting. Ask her to read Claire Weeks book. That might help her understand. It is a short book and easy read so it wouldn't take her long.

[jkfrench]

You know, my mom is the same way. She doesn't have much patience for me because she sees the same doctor as I do and she knows that I have been told my heart is fine. She deals with A-fib on a daily basis and has for years. Yet, she can live her life, take vacations etc. It just doesn't bother her. She believes her doctor and has actually had a hole repaired and a stent put in her heart and still believes that she will be ok. One medication she was on a few years back when she was seeing that stupid doctor made her so sick that my dad had to push her to the car on a dolly he uses to bring boxes of wine in the house. He is 91 years old. He got her to the hospital, she was in afib and the meds they gave her almost killed her. Yet....she just moves on. I would be a basket case. So when I even mention to her that my heart is acting up, she just says oh just go water the flowers...it will stop. LOL. She is 75 years old and lived with a hole in her heart for 20 years and in afib for the last 2 years and her heart still didn't give out. So realize that our hearts can take a lot. Just eat right, exercise to keep it strong, stay away from drugs and smoking. Do what you can to keep heart disease away and you will live a long and healthy life. Oh, and my dad got a pacemaker 8 years ago at the age of 84 and it hasn't slowed him down one bit. We are all going to be fine!!!

[DaniRae]

Unless they have been there, they do not get it.... I am sorry. But we are here and will continue to be

[dr461]

I think the best way to deal with it is not to expect them to understand, but for you to achieve some inner peace about it. Nobody else can live inside your body or mind, and know exactly what it is like. Acceptance that you are okay is a very difficult thing to achieve--it is taking me years of therapy, reading, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, and self-discipline that i never knew I had. If you can somehow manage to be strong for YOURSELF first, others will sense that in you and begin to understand and embrace your feelings and needs. Is this easy? No. I wish I could give an easy answer, but I'd say it takes work, understanding one's inner workings, and lots of introspection. You can do it!!!

[Jeff]

I couldn't say it any better than Jodie did.

I think the only thing you can do is to ask your family to be patient with you - that this is real, it's hard, and it's scary.

But it also might help you in your recovery to try to figure out how you really would explain this to your family. What would it sound like? Would you explain that you are terrified that your heart might just stop and you'll die, despite every medical reassurance that you won't? That you're sure that even though you've had a barrage of tests run, your level of health determined and your doctor telling you that you can do whatever you'd like, no restrictions, but you're sure that everyone is missing something, and that this one time when my heart did this funny thing for a couple seconds it made me think I was gonna die?

I've been in those places, so I know I'm probably hitting pretty close to home, right? But when you write it out in actual words it sounds a little crazy, right? I think it's not just a matter of whether or not a person can feel the PVCs, because I've met lots of people who have also felt the PVCs, were told about them during a pregnancy or something, said they felt funny, but never gave them much thought, and they eventually went away. I think for those of us on this site, this is part PVC/PACs, part health anxiety.

How to get past that part? Medications? Therapy? Lifestyle changes? All 3?

But I think that for most of us here, THAT is the battle that needs to be won, not the one over PVCs.

[Cheers]

When I started having panic attacks in my early 20s, I remember my mom asking me before a flight, "You aren't going to freak out and embarrass me are you?"

I know all too well that we cannot expect anyone to ever understand that which they havent been through. But how can the concept of fear be so foreign? I watched my 46 year old father die in front of me when I was 23. Of course I am going to be a little messed up from time to time..especially about health and dying.

My mom and husband are like rocks. They feel barely anything...they havent been through horrible events out of the ordinary...have had pretty healthy lives with no DIAGNOSED mental illness. They are stick their heads in the sand kind of people. Clearly I am the opposite. I wish we could all meet in the middle somewhere.

Thanks everyone. Your words werent lost on me. I really appreciate all of your help.

[Chaoticdopey]

well your family dosnt know what your going through until they end up going through it, its hard to make some one change there mindset about somthing that docters have heard is benign, only reason my mom helps me through my bouts and panic attacks is because she knows how they feel, shes had a ton around the same age i am, freaked her out and all she could do for me is reasure me and watch me through the night. im sorry your family are such hard asses but, untill they go threw it they might not change or understand your situation.

[Katie]

It took my husband awhile to get it. My mom still doesn't. My husband got it when I broke dienbun front of him and said, "how do you think it feels to always be aware of your heart beating inside you, how about when the beats hurt or are funny or slam your chest wall, how does it feel to worry that you may die, but your not really terminal with anything, how does it feel to be worried at 26 that you'll miss ur kids lives even though you had them early" he looked at me and apologized and hugged me and said "I don't know, so I'll stop judging you and start supporting you" ( well not those exact words- but pretty damn close). My husband and I are pretty religious too so he makes me feel better when we talk about things. Like he says, if you die then God has to take care of ur kids and God is better than anyone else to provide. And so on- its really hard at times, I have scary dreams about walking around cemeteries with the ground open waiting for me and it's really hard, I don't think people realize how deeply it effects a person to deal with death. But like I said I find comfort in God and I try to remember ALOT of the teachings I believe in like: god doesn't give you more than you can bear, after every hardship is an ease, that anxiety ages a man and really just means you don't have trust in ur journey, and that man always and forever lOngs for a good healthy life. Everyone will die, but the majority of people aren't having to think about that regularly - unless they are you and me with palpitations. There is a saying in Morocco that the one that's hit by the paddle is the only one whose hurt; everyone else can state their understandings and their I feel yous but they haven't been hit and they have no clue how it feels. The best support I have gotten is from my God, and these boards, then my fabulous husband, then my doctor who gets them, then my aunt who gets them and then my brothers who don't get them but honestly said whoa Kate that really sucks for you- thank God e don't have them, then my mom who said get over it! But the funny thing is, that's exactly my planing action... Getting over it!