[CMoore416]

One of my biggest issues with ,ynhusband is at he doesn't understand. But how can i expect him to I guess? it started with my thyroid issues. I was so wacked out! I was paranoid, anxious and pretty much felt crazy! I begged him to not leave for work ecause I was afraid. It was all a chemical imbalance from my thyroid but he didn't get it. He hated coming home and actually told me he only didn't it for the kids. I resent him for years over that. I did it all alone - at least I felt like I did - for 4 years. He apologized later but now that I have the PVCs - I feel like he tries to understand but doesn't fully. I try to keep a lot to myself because once he said it was hard dealing with someone that always has issues. Nice - thanks. Like I CHOOSE this!! He will repeat to me that Im fine but that doesn't help. Sometimes we just need a hug. But ipeven if I do it ll alone - I will beat this. My mom understands some since she had thm - but she tells me it's hard to see her child sad and always sick. So I try to hold back some with her too. I don't have really any close friends but one who lets me vent but even she isn't a BFF or anything. That's what I need though. So I guess the bottom line is if you haven't experienced it - it's hard to understand. But I'm sure we all have way more empathy for ppl suffering with anything

[CMoore416]

Well on his defense he has been trying since all that. I had to get mad and say that exact thing about in sickness and in health. I remember saying "so if someone has cancer for 4 years do you get tired of dealing with it?" I guess though I have been struggling a long time. In his mind the drs say I am fine and I just can't believe them. So he thinks my behavior is unnessecary. But he has made an effort to understand. He is dealing with severe back pain and 3 hour commutes one way So I guess he has his own set of health problems.

[Jeff]

David? You're poking your nose where it probably doesn't belong. Please tread carefully.

[dr461]

Sorry about my earlier post, Christina. It was out of line. I think the best thing that anybody can do is DIALOGUE--talk things through, and try to get across the feelings of being scared and worried about how you feel. A good two way discussion always helps, and being honest about your feelings won't hurt. He has his medical issues, and you have yours. What I said was inappropriate, and wrong to take sides in a dispute like that, and I apologize. Try to talk it through as much as you can mutually, and do as much together as you can for mutual understanding.

[CMoore416]

No offense taken! lol I thought it was funny. Don't get me wrong he is a great guy bit my medical issues have been very hard for him to understand. But I guess it is for Anyone who hasn't been there. Plus aren't men very "fix it" kind of ppl? I'm assuming since he can't just fix it - it frustrates him. But really I was not offended and it has been a big issue and lretty much the main issue between us. We are woken on it.

[dr461]

Yeah, you are absolutely right, Christina. It is hard for all of us, and I think we all tend to get somewhat emotional sometimes. I KNOW I get on my soap box when people have said to me "it is all in your mind, David." We are vulnerable, and it scares us, so we get uptight. I only meant to help, an sorry, once again. He does have his health issues, and you two can work on each other's issues together. Hey, that is a good family activity. What we all need is to learn to recover, and get our emotions in check, and that is sooooooo difficult. THe first flutter has set me off so many times, even though I try hard to be the "Rock of Gibraltar," there are lots of cracks in that rock...lolol

[Jeff]

@ Christina - Yes, men definitely tend to be of the fixing mindset, and it's difficult (nut not impossible) for us to refrain from that.

@ David - I appreciate you writing that - I was getting uncomfortable with, well, you know.

I'm very glad everyone's ok.