[CMoore416]

I am feeling very hopeless right now. I know acceptance is my only answer but I dnt want to accept it! I want it to go away competely! I had a really good day then about 20 minutes after I ate dinner they hit me. Took a Xanax and waiting now. Of course crying and just so over it. I don't even want to continue on this way. I do not want to live like this anymore. Im going crazy!! I hate life! I don't deserves this. None of us do. I know there are worse things but Damn this fear has ruined everything I worked hard to be. It has stripped me of everything and it's winning. I feel so hopeless because all I canthink is this is how my life will always be...how depressing.

[Katie]

No, no, no! You've got read what you are writing. You sound suicidal. Your letting the palps take every h
Joy from ur life. They are winning and ur sadness and stress will kill u not even ur palpitations. Have u tried walking, have you tried the aloe Vera gel, does anything give you some relief? Read something funny like damnyouautocorrect.com, submerge uourself in a project in the house, take a bath, focus on ur big toe Anything to get ur mind off it. U are ok, you will be ok if you can just relax a bit. I know relaxing is the hardest thing to do right now but try anything. We are all here for you rooting you on. MYbe u should go to sit in the waiting room in the ER. Or call ur on call doctor for reassurance. I'll pray you get some relief and hugs!!!!

[Jeff]

I agree with Katie - you do sound a bit suicidal, and if that's the case, please tell your husband or a family member or friend. Like right now. Stop reading this and do it. If not for you, then your kids.

So. Now that that's done, let's get to some tough love. Ok?

What's your big fear right now? It's not that your heart would skip a beat here or there each and every day for the rest of your life, right? I mean, if I could get you a billion dollar written guarantee that you'd get another 40 years out of your heart, a PVC here or there every day, or thousands, wouldn't really matter, right? A nuisance, sure, but if you knew you weren't going to die, it'd just be a nuisance and nothing more.

So. The fear isn't in having a PVC. Or a thousand. It's that one day your heart will stop because of these, oxygen will stop reaching your brain and other vital organs, and you will close your eyes for the last time.

Am I on track so far?

So let's say that what you're saying is spot on. It's going to happen. These PVCs are going to kill you. Maybe not today, maybe not in a year, five years, but they will without a doubt kill you. And now you only have a little time left.

What do you do?

It's like what if an asteroid was hitting Earth in a month and was going to kill everything and everyone on the planet? What do you do? Probably spend some time making peace where peace needs to be made. Probably spend some time doing all those things you wanted to do but never got around to. Maybe some of them are baaaaad.

But it's not the asteroid scenario, it's just you, your life, your family that you need to worry about now and after you're gone.

What do you do?

Sit around and wait for the PVCs to take you? Go meekly into that goodnight? Shrug your shoulders against the dying of the light? Is that what your kids will always remember? A mom who just kind of let herself wither away?

I don't think so. You press on in spite of the PVCs, right? Know that your kids are going to remember this time, you, and how you responded. You'll know that they will probably have their own habits, their own approaches to life's struggles formed by how you respond to this, which in turn may affect their kids.

"When mom knew she only had 5 years to live, she just kinda sat around for those five years watching Wheel of Fortune and waiting to die."

Is that your legacy?

Don't let it be.

Get off your ass. Be strong. Press on.

[CMoore416]

I'm not suicidal just feel very sad that about everything. I don't know what to think anymore. Somehow I manage to get through the day, go to bed and start again...I need to suck it up and deal I know. No I don't want that to be my legacy. My minds a jumble so off to sleep. I'm sure I will feel better in the morning

[Chaoticdopey]

Originally Posted by CMoore416

I'm not suicidal just feel very sad that about everything. I don't know what to think anymore. Somehow I manage to get through the day, go to bed and start again...I need to suck it up and deal I know. No I don't want that to be my legacy. My minds a jumble so off to sleep. I'm sure I will feel better in the morning

you will feel better in the morning untill a PVC hits and your back to anxiety / depression, you really need to see a psychiatrist and get on a anti-screw my life pill, thats how i was feeling for a strait month, sleeping was the best i felt, after i woke up it all went down hill, now im on anti-screw the world pills and my anxiety has diminished, i did have to take a xanax for the last 2 days but today im feeling good on my celexa no xanax needed, today i actually had a PVC and guess what, it didnt phase me mentaly, i just let it go, seeing a psychiatrist and crying and spilling your guts to them will help, crying releases adrenaline and i believe it boosts endorphines which lighten up your mood, i hope you feel better, but really think about feeling better, you got a long life ahead of you as i learned...

[DaniRae]

Christina, its a shame we all don't live closer, so in those bad times, we can get together, go out, get our minds off of things and know we are sitting next to a person who knows EXACTLY how we feel. But we don't and we can't. I hate them too, with a passion but I can't let them live for me anymore. Sweetie, they are NOT going to kill you. You are going to be fine.... You have to know that. I didn't want to accept them either. I wanted them to be taken care of and cured and go about my life like it was just a bad episode but they are apart of who we are. What if one day your kids get PVCs? You will have to be strong for them and let them know they are going to be just fine.... You have to be strong for them now too. Let them get you through this. They will, trust me. Mine are what pulled me through mine.

[dr461]

Christina, it really does get better. You gotta believe that you are NOT seriously ill. If you don't try and accept that, and work towards wellness, you will just go from one symptom to another. I strongly suggest the specific therapy that has helped most with this type of panic and depression related anxiety, and that is CBT. Please feel free to message me about it, as it has helped me tremendously over the years. I have had the "symptom of the week and symptom of the day" syndrome, and the PVCs and other manifestations made me crazy. If you have any questions, just please ask, and we are here for you, sweetie.

[CMoore416]

Thanks for all the support. Acceptance is my biggest issue. I guess I just don't want to accept it but I have no choice. I just feel so overwhelmed with it all. I know being sedentary all day isn't helping me long term. Going to try to make this a better day!

[dr461]

Originally Posted by CMoore416

Thanks for all the support. Acceptance is my biggest issue. I guess I just don't want to accept it but I have no choice. I just feel so overwhelmed with it all. I know being sedentary all day isn't helping me long term. Going to try to make this a better day!

Are you religious? If you are, I'd pray not for the PVCs to go away, but for the strength to deal with them, and the peace of mind to accept them, and to do what needs to be done. I have often done that.

[Cheers]

What you need to do is get PISSED OFF. What are these stupid things...these skips...these little jerks who think they are going to ruin you?? BUZZ OFF!! (trying to to swear like I normally would...not sure how offended you get).

I have been dealing with these, panic and health anxiety for the past decade at least. And let me tell you...I have wasted FAR too much time. I now have wrinkles and stretch marks and cannot wear a two piece. When I could...I was too worried about my heart and everything else to enjoy the body I had.

I had energy and friends. Now, I am older and tired and most of my friends have moved away or grown sick of me. I wasted that time worried and crying.

I went to a beautiful resort for my honeymoon 8 years ago. A week in the sun and surf. All pretty much wasted because I was a paranoid wreck.

My daughter is suddenly 7 years old and is growing so fast my head is spinning. When I think of all the time I have wasted when I could have been having fun with her - I want to punch myself in the neck.

You. Me. All of us. We need to stop now. Because honestly, we can drop dead tomorrow by getting hit with a astroid or some freakish earthquake. We will NEVER EVER have control over how and when we die. Period. What we have is now.

I am going to share with you a link to something I wrote a few years ago. I think you can relate to it and I hope it helps. HERE it is.

HERE is another one which MAY be familiar..let me know.

Stop being the victim of these things we cannot control..and instead, get mad and fight back. The best revenge is living a good life and you need to show these skips, these anxieties, this panic BS that it will NOT win.

I was sitting in a hospital room alone with my father when I watched him take his last breath. I was 23 and he was 46. He wasted his life just sitting there waiting to die. I know I REFUSE to do the same thing. And so should you.