[Susie]

Hi Folks~I just need to "talk" I am so nervous today and everything seems so bad.

I have been having those "throat" heart skips and they scare me, it seems like when I take a deep breath, I will have those kind. Sometimes, they do not bother me, but today, well, they sure do.

Also, it seems like when I have a lot of gas in my tummy, the skips start too. I was trying to sleep last night, well, my tummy really hurt and I had a lot of gas, sure enough, I had a growling in my tummy and them some short bursts of PAC's, when I finally passed air, they seemed better, have any of you noticed this?

I have been reading a lot of your posts today, I can sure relate to the fears and wanting your life back, that is how I am. I so desperately want to feel good again and to stop worrying, I just can not seem to get out of this fear rut and it is wearing me down. I mean, I cry constantly, am so nervous I can not sit still, enjoy nothing, am always afraid of one of my skips running away and turning into something fatal. I am consumed with fear, and, even though all tests are good, and my docs say my heart is great, I can not break this bondage.

I can not take any meds, even in small amounts, they have a horrible reverse reaction on me. As to a therapist, there are not any around this area, I see a doc in Seattle who does therapy, but, I can not get over there in the winter due to snow in the pass, besides, she helps for awhile, but then, my bad thought patterns take over. I am a mess and feel hopeless and beyond help.

I wonder if I will ever be happy again and feel good. Sometimes I doubt it. I pray a lot and I know God hears me, but, my faith is weak lately and I feel again like I am sinking. Christmas is my favorite time of year, but this year, my anxiety and such has taken all joy from me and I resent it, I am so miserable.

To top all this off, another health issue has been added, how much more can I take? My herniated disc in my neck are starting to cause me to feel sort of light headed at times, and when I turn my head, the first two fingers of my hand buzz, this is all characteristic of a herniated cervical 4 and 5 disc, now what, I hope not surgery, what else can happen? I am soooooo scared.

Well, sorry for the horribly depressing post, I just had to "talk" it out though. You all have really helped more than you will realize, I probably would be a total basket case if it were not for this group. Everyone is like a family and so close, it is awesome.

Have a nice day,
Hugs
Susie

[CMoore416]

Susie, I'm sorry. I too amhaving a horrible day. I jr left work to come home because it's so bad. I am having PVCs ad whatever else constantly. I can't even get a grip for a minute. My husband will be home in a few minutes and going to try the Xanax. Hoping it doesn't cause more issues. I too love Christmas and am not into it at all. I need some serious help. I just told my husband I have no more Fight in me and I am hopeless. My chest is hurting today from it all. I get even more Anxious trying to figure out if I should go to the ER. I hate this! In so sorry you are dealin with it too

[ctcsmith]

((hugs))

[DaniRae]

Susie I am so very very sorry. I know this has been super tough for you and I can truly relate. I feel awful that you are having a tough time and I sure wish I was closer to just give you a hug and have a girls day out just to get your mind off of things.

All of your test results were so wonderful though! I mean amazingly good, you really do not have anything to worry about (I know easier said then done) but it's true. Your heart is in great condition and you are doing fabulous, even if you don't feel like it.

What sorts of things do you generally do for fum? Do you have friends or family close by?

[dr461]

Susie, you are okay. Your echo was great, and all of your test results were fine. Your cardio doc basically said you are fine. That one asshole of a doctor made that stupid comment, that you took to heart. Ignore that, and feel better--you have had normal tests, you have a stressful job (I know all about teaching all too well), and you will be absolutely fine. Doctors like him need to take a long walk over a very short pier. lol

Dani is right--relax, listen to some music, and think great thoughts. Do you have hobbies, or do you like to read so as to distract yourself? All of these things work for me. My big stress reliever is to grab my camera, walk on the beach, and shoot 200 or 300 pictures, and then photo edit them. That is very relaxing to me--find your hot button to trigger the release of positive endorphins, and worry not. You have more PVCs as you worry more, so try and break the cycle. We are all here for you.

[Susie]

Originally Posted by CMoore416

Susie, I'm sorry. I too amhaving a horrible day. I jr left work to come home because it's so bad. I am having PVCs ad whatever else constantly. I can't even get a grip for a minute. My husband will be home in a few minutes and going to try the Xanax. Hoping it doesn't cause more issues. I too love Christmas and am not into it at all. I need some serious help. I just told my husband I have no more Fight in me and I am hopeless. My chest is hurting today from it all. I get even more Anxious trying to figure out if I should go to the ER. I hate this! In so sorry you are dealin with it too

Here is a hug for you CM. I know how miserable you must be. We have to believe that it will get better, our minds are making it worse for us, as one book about nerves said, we are victims of our thought pattern, oh how true.
(((((((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))

[Susie]

Originally Posted by DaniRae

Susie I am so very very sorry. I know this has been super tough for you and I can truly relate. I feel awful that you are having a tough time and I sure wish I was closer to just give you a hug and have a girls day out just to get your mind off of things.

All of your test results were so wonderful though! I mean amazingly good, you really do not have anything to worry about (I know easier said then done) but it's true. Your heart is in great condition and you are doing fabulous, even if you don't feel like it.

What sorts of things do you generally do for fum? Do you have friends or family close by?

((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
Yes, you are so right, my test results were great, and that carotid one was better than the first, no inflammtin and absolutely no plaque. I have heard that this test is a better indicator that any other risk factor test. I get so angry that I am still scared.

I really do not have a lot to do for fun. I like to read, so, I do that. I have no family close by. As I have stated in a previous post, I am living with my dad who is terminally ill and I help him as much as I can. It is so awful to watch him be so sick, it is not helping my anxiety either.

I have a platonic boy friend who tries to understand my ways, he helps some.

I wish I had a good female friend, one to just really talk to and do things with.

Hugs to you
Susie

[Susie]

Originally Posted by dr461

Susie, you are okay. Your echo was great, and all of your test results were fine. Your cardio doc basically said you are fine. That one asshole of a doctor made that stupid comment, that you took to heart. Ignore that, and feel better--you have had normal tests, you have a stressful job (I know all about teaching all too well), and you will be absolutely fine. Doctors like him need to take a long walk over a very short pier. lol

Dani is right--relax, listen to some music, and think great thoughts. Do you have hobbies, or do you like to read so as to distract yourself? All of these things work for me. My big stress reliever is to grab my camera, walk on the beach, and shoot 200 or 300 pictures, and then photo edit them. That is very relaxing to me--find your hot button to trigger the release of positive endorphins, and worry not. You have more PVCs as you worry more, so try and break the cycle. We are all here for you.

I agree, the echo was good, the holter good, and the carotid IMT was terrific. I have no reason to worry, whicn in turn, makes me even sadder becasue I do worry.

I do not teach, by the way, I have been unemployed for many years, I took care of my ill mother for 10 years, she had heart issues and such, and now, am taking care of my terminally ill dad. It is hard to watch him waste away. I am an only child, so have no one else.

You are right also about that doctor being an asshole, I can't believe that he said what he said. He does need to talk a long walk off the shortest pier.

I love photography too. I have taken so many pictures with my new Canon digital camera. I love being near the water as well, it relaxes me. Unfortunately, the water is on the Seattle side of the mountains, so, I have to go there to be near it.

Right now, the only hobbies I have are reading, nothing much else to do, it is cold, icy and snowing. I miss living in Sarasota and also living in Arizona.

Thanks for your support, it sure means a lot to me.
Hugs
Susie

[Katie]

Hang in there Susie. One of my close friends who is super smart said she read a medical journal on retraining the brain. She said it's hard and takes time but is effective. I've been working on it and it's going ok, I still freak out but not as much. Basically when negative thoughts come into your brain after a palpitation you start to get scared etc. So instead while your feeling that you constantly remind yourself I'm ok, this is normal for me, everyone on skipping hearts has the same thing etc. Eventually even if you don't feel it working your brain will automatically switch to that train of thought instead of I'm going to die. I think your fathers illness is effecting your stress levels and of course it would. But I just wanted to tell you I think that the fact that you are there for him is really good of you.

[DaniRae]

Like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, you retrain the way your brain thinks. I have heard it is very effective as well. That is basically what I did to myself lol. I did though have help of a Therapist and Psychiatrist.